(This is a plea from all overweight and obese people to our friends and family.  Those of us on the Fat Side would never have the guts to say this to your face, but it is so necessary that you understand and hear us.)

1)      STOP telling me that I don’t need to eat any more food.

2)      STOP telling me that I shouldn’t eat whatever it is that I am putting in my mouth.

3)      STOP telling me that I don’t need any more of whatever I am eating.

4)      STOP telling me that I need to hurry up and lose this weight.

5)      STOP telling me that I shouldn’t be sitting around watching TV.

I understand that you are trying to support me.  However, I need for you to understand that by saying these things, you are actually causing me great pain.

What I hear you say is that you are controlling me.

What I hear you say is that you don’t think that I can control myself.

What I hear you say that I am not capable of managing my food and exercise on my own.

What I hear you say is that you don’t like me as I am- that I need to change for you.

My response to your behavior is to begin eating behind your back.  I will begin to hide food and eat when you are not looking.  I will cry myself to sleep or while I am in the shower so that you don’t see how much your words have affected me.  Instead of exercising like I should, I will purposefully spend more time sitting on my rear or laying around in the bed.

Please understand this:

1)      I KNOW what I look like.

2)      I KNOW how fat I am.

3)      I KNOW what size clothing I have to buy myself.

4)      I KNOW that I am eating too much.

5)      I KNOW that I need to make healthier food choices.

6)      I KNOW that I need to be in better physical shape.

7)      I WANT to lose weight.

8)      I WANT to be healthier.

9)      I WANT to be able to shop in a regular store in the regular sizes.

10)   I WANT to be able to chase my children and comfortably get up and down on the floor to play with them.

11)   I NEED you to lead me, NOT through your words, but through your actions.  Be a positive, healthy example for me through your own healthy eating and physical activity.

12)   I NEED you to support me by providing at least one healthy food choice when I come to your dinner party.

13)   I NEED you to love me for who I am now, not conditionally for who I will be when I lose the weight.

14)   I NEED to feel included.  Invite me to your parties and outings, even if you think I would be uncomfortable.  Let me decide whether or not I would want to go, but invite me. 

15)   I NEED you to believe in me and empower me to help myself without any control from you.

When I get what I NEED, I will focus on what I WANT, and what I KNOW will transform!

If you have friends or family members that are overweight or obese, please read and re-read this and try your best to change your behavior.  Love and support are very different from ridicule and control.  Please take notice of what you are doing and make a change!


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